Rise Above, Know Yourself, Find Balance, Ask Questions

So sick of the cycle.

2009-09-23T23:09:55Z

So, I've noticed this really ridiculous cycle I have. It doesn't really have a beginning, but let's just pick a random point.

So, Miranda becomes comfortable being single and finds balance and joy in her life with her friends and work.

Then Miranda meets a random girl, and snuggly time starts, and her hopes get up that this might be the person who wants to have something quiet and stable.

And then the quiet/stable idea gets blown out of the water because of indecision, or difficulties. Nothing that is either person's fault.

And then Miranda gets thrown into this longing and craving for cuddles and balance and stability and kisses.

And after some painful time, Miranda finds balance and joy in her life with her friends and work and swears of relationships, for now, again.

And then it repeats.

That longing/craving bit kills me a little, but I wouldn't ever change any of the experiences that I've had.

Weekly Music Posting - Hymn of the Big Wheel by Massive Attack

2009-09-13T20:09:12Z

Weekly Music Posting - Boy with a Coin by Iron & Wine

2009-09-06T07:38:22Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLNyVLbqdEg

Beauty, Brilliance. So powerful.

Boy with a coin he found in the weeds
with bullets and pages of trade magazines
close to a car THAT flipped on the turn
when God left the ground to circle the world

Hey--- Oh----

Girl with a bird she found in the snow
that flew up her gown, and that's how she knows
that God made her eyes for crying at birth
then left the ground to circle the earth

Hey--- Oh----

Boy with a coin he crammed in his jeans
then making a wish, and tossed in the sea
then walked to a town that all of us burned
when God left the ground to circle the world

Hey--- Oh----
Hey--- Oh----

Weekly Music Posting - Fire Burning - Sean Kingston

2009-08-10T22:17:40Z

Weekly Music Posting - Our Trees - Tegan and Sara

2009-08-02T14:01:53Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgWqxQHVEmg

I'm back in the U.P. This song seems fitting for this week's song.

Here are the Lyrics:
There is mass confusion in the forest,
I heard about it on the radio,
And they're bringing in some guy,
And he is gonna go on and on,
About all the things that he don't know .
And there's some girl in the background she's screaming something
About missing trees and I'm wondering,
Where did they go?
No lines on the highway, no passing they say,
No green to my left and no green to my right,
And the man behind the axe always gets a full meal,
Cause green never puts up much of a fight.
So here's some helpful hints some breath assured pints,
Full of beautiful grace and we steal their space,
And death comes quickly so I pull up to my,
Double car garage hideaway and we start to say:
Where did all the trees go? (Doesn't anyone know?)
Where did all the trees go? (They went across the street to grow.)
Where did all the lights come from?
They said you're big before you're small,
I'm sure glad I don't know it all.
Yes I'm glad I don't know it all...
If the trees could be lions, would they still fall and be tagged,
Would they refuse to surrender, refuse to be gagged?
If the trees had a mother and a father like mine,
Would they stand up say praise the trees the trees will be fine!
So wake me up from this dream and tell me things
Aren't as bad as they seem,
And tell me is it so not cool to say who will save the trees...
Will it be me?
Where did all the trees go? (Doesn't anyone know?)
Yeah, where did all the trees go? (They went across the street to grow)
Yeah, where did all the lights come from
They said you're big before your small.
I'm sure glad I don't know it all...
Where did all my trees go? (Doesn't anyone know?)
Yeah, where did all the trees go? (They moved across the street to grow)
Yeah, where did all the lights come from?
They said you're big before you're small,
I'm sure glad I don't know it all, yes I'm glad I don't know it all.
There is mass confusion in the forest,
I heard about it on the radio.
And they're bringing in some guy
And he is gonna go on and on and on
About all the things that he don't know,
And there's some girl in the background she's screaming something
About missing trees and I'm wondering,
Where did they go? (Where did they go? Where did they go?)

And so here it goes...

2009-07-29T14:29:29Z

I leave Milwaukee.. ... ...Tomorrow? It's hitting me like a ton of bricks at this specific moment. There are so many things I'm going to miss. I'm seriously considering moving back to Milwaukee after I graduate. Maybe spend the summer working for Gail, and then head down?

I met a girl here who makes me think and challenges me and expands the way I think. I love talking to her. I'm afraid conversations will be different when they're over the phone/text/IM then when we talk face to face and I feel like that's going to be a tragedy. As a bonus she's a good kisser and can make me laugh with out trying to hard. She's one of those rare people who is who she is in her zany, intelligent, care-free way. One of those people a lot of people would judge the first time they meet and dismiss, but you didn't for whatever reason and are so thankful for it.

I've decided to save up some money so I can send it to Katie, Danielle and Dana so they can come up to visit me and experience the "Yooper, Eh?" as they call it. :) We'll see how well that works. A job is important for this plan. I want to share the Nickle and it's peanut shell glory with them. (The scary part is how undeniably honest that statement is.)

Colin and Bridgette made me a going away dinner. Stuffed Chicken, potatoes, and asparagus for dinner with made-from-scratch brownies. I wish I spent more time with them this summer.

Today is my last day at PQ. Maggie made vegan sugar cookies yesterday and they were delicious. I was also talking to a few people about looking for a job there after I graduate, and there are rumors(so no hopes up yet.) that there may be more funding by the end of this academic year and they might have room for a third full time person. When you achieve your life goals and dreams in your early twenties you can enjoy your accomplishments for the rest of your life. Sometimes I feel like I cheated the system. That there's no way I should know what I want to do with my life, but when I walked into PQ that first day, surrounded by 25 youth from an entirely different social setting then I was accustomed to, I dove in head first and came home that night elated and refreshed and with purpose. It was a beautiful feeling. I even sort of came to enjoy doing budget stuff for the resource center, helping to optimize and make it more user friendly.

I'm a little behind on my internship reports, so I should catch those up.

I hope everyone is well in livejournal land.

Peace Easy.

Oh, and if you didn't know, I'm back on HRL's payroll. Well sort of. I'm a Community Advisor (Easiest way to explain it would be to say I'm sort of like a RA for the apartments) so I get a free apartment, but no stipend. That phone call was sort of a god-send.

Weekly Musical Posting - Queer Nation - Good Asian Drivers

2009-07-20T14:50:59Z

I met Good Asian Drivers in Green Bay at Pride, and I'm very grateful for that. They write and sing and speak and slam about issues that are important to our lives. This particular piece is... honest. As much as I love the queer community, and I love the diversity of the people in the community, the community has it quirks and symbols, hankies and rainbows, and it's such a rich community, and not only in terms of the pink dollar. But there are SO many things that need to be corrected, there are SO many things that can be improved, and there are SO many things that we feel we are immune from, and because of that feeling they are not acknowledged, and they fester and grow and become even more insidious.

Listen to it, tell me what you think.

it’s microphone night and dim lights make for good queeraoke
hey this is my town where feminists rule and old school is cool again
and new school working through lots of identity issues
but it is an open door policy in gay old queer nation
so come in with your red black orange green blue yellow handkerchiefs
dangling out of back pockets or wrapped around your neck
with your fag ties your skinny ties your tie dye your cuff pants
your trucker hats your mohawks and faux-hawks your red socks your glass cocks
your hard packs and your soft packs
just bring it
and i’m frozen watching as beer fly from bars into crowds
and girl-boys and boy-girls make out while the DJ blasts house hip hop and 80s
yes i said house hip hop and 80s
i’m confused too
but at midnight the line gets long outside
and chain smokers choke on each others smoke outside
and baby dykes find pride outside
while hippies ride their bikes home to compost at midnight
man it is gay here
i mean it’s queer here
and everything is perfect here in gay old queer nation with liberty and justice for all
but i’m watching
i’m watching as her hand slides down another girl’s ass
and she doesn’t want it
hey i thought queer people were past this
that everyone was a feminist non-comformist boundary pushing progressive
and enlightened spiritual being
but i’m wrong to think that queer people were born
with an inherent knowledge that pushed past the nurture of america
but the truth is that we fuck up too
see we still haven’t found our groove on the outskirts of society
we’re still using old blueprints with bad foundations
dealing with domestic violence in our queer communities too
and you can still hear the words nigger gook chink and spic at a gay bar fight
you can still watch date rape in mixed drinks under rainbow disco lights
you could still hear butches treat femmes like second class citizens
you can still hear women fighting for voice and taking space at gay prides
you can see still trans women and trans guys fighting for voice among dykes
you can still hear other cultures fighting for voice among whites
it’s microphone night
and dim lights make for good queeraoke
but what songs are we singing tonight
when freedom is invisible even among the invisible
hey i thought we got it right this time
but i’m still spitting rhymes about issues that aren’t dead
and i still can’t read a queer paper without getting a migraine
so we’ve still got a long way to go
but if we can erase the boundary lines between the communities that confine us
then change will come faster
so what do you say
well i say one day we can sing unity through the word world
one day we can sing unity through the word people
one day we can sing unity through the word queer
and one day we can sing unified
under dim lights pride parades of all kinds and through microphones that preach peace worldwide
in queer nation where everyone is queering the notes and singing rainbows
cuz that will be the only song left to sing at queeraoke
Poetry by Kit Yan © 2009. (Music by Chris Takita.)

Freedom Writers.

2009-07-08T06:26:25Z

If you have not seen this movie, you need to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcVjKAKRpDw

Weekly Musical Posting - Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy

2009-07-02T17:36:33Z

www.youtube.com/watch

This perfectly displays some feelings I had last semester, almost to a creepy point. I'm enjoying finding new artists I like though. :)

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Weekly Musical Posting - Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap

2009-07-01T21:45:40Z

Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap

I've been having many conversations about trusting other people, and this song, so beautiful, speaks to me about the pain of broken trust and almost a resigned disappointment.

Working on the weekends has killed my internet catch up time, so this is short.

Here's some lyrics:

where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling

spin me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won't catch me around here)
blood and tears (hearts)
they were here first

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
whatcha say?
Mmmm what did she say?

ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no I don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs

(hide and seek)
speak no feeling no i don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a (you don't care a) bit

(hide and seek)
oh no, you don't care a bit
oh no, you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
oh no, you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit

Weekly Musical Posting - Nickelback - If today was your last day

2009-06-24T17:59:17Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0SwTre8GsY

I heard this on the radio last night on the way home from Steve's birthday. It has special resonance with a friend of mine, and it was the song we shared. It really hit me last night though how important these thoughts can be. No, I don't think I'll die tomorrow, I imagine I'll finish out the semester, but at the same time we can't procrastinate the things we want because the opportunity might pass us by.

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

Weekly Music Posting - Viva La Vida - Coldplay

2009-06-22T03:28:26Z

This song was introduced to me a month ago, and resurfaced on Pandora a few days ago.

I enjoy it because it's such a smooth song. What do you think?

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sweep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
(Ohhh)

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
(Ohhhhh Ohhh Ohhh)

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh

Weekly Music Posting - Satisfaction - Toby

2009-06-16T02:55:22Z

And this is what I have for you from Pride. Meet Toby, an Australian lesbian with locks and a mean set of skills on guitar. With surprising vocals and strong music, she's your lesbian artist with an ausie accent. From what I hear, she's really popular in Australia.

This track, "Run", was one of the best in terms of sound I could find. She's on MySpace if you want to check her out. http://www.myspace.com/tobybeard

The update I've been meaning to write.

2009-06-16T02:18:57Z

Finances are tight, but I finally found a job selling pride beads for a local lesbian at prides on the weekend, turns out this summer's going to be even more gay-centric then I first imagined. I started yesterday, but only for an hour, as a kind of test run. In that hour I made 20 bucks. We're traveling next weekend, but Jodi hasn't decided which pride we're going to yet. I met her though one of the guys I work with at the Community Center. We keep 35% of what we sell. Danielle, another person who sells with Jodi, made $300 this weekend, and Jodi said that the lowest paid person this weekend made $235. It's a good gig, and it's only on the weekends. I'm going to be cutting it close with rent for July, but assuming I'm not a horrible sales person, I should be able to make it. I also am connected with Manpower, a temp agency, about doing random pick up work they may have available. Nothing from them yet, but we'll see.

I'm doing great in my internships, and I love them both. The Resource Center on campus is much more of a macro approach and they have me doing research for them. Working on things like grants, queer-friendly companies, preferred name policies, and a little grunt work helping with their budget and other small office work. At the Community Center, I'm working one on one with the youth, and they're starting to accept me into the fold. I've connected really well with a few particular youth, and it's great to spend time with them and seeing them comfortable and happy. They've seen some really rough situations, and while I knew that and I've seen it, it's a lot more raw here. It's not as hard to work with them, knowing these things and how hard they have had it, as I thought it would be, just much more grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to have a positive impact on their lives, grateful to have the opportunity to have them influence mine in such a great way, grateful for my own privileged and positive experiences. I come home from interning for five and a half hours with them and I feel energized. It reminds me of working at the youth center back home, and how much I loved that job and those kids.

Socially, I'm doing well. Colin has been a life saver on more then one occasion, as well as introducing me to some amazing people, and Amanda has introduced me to some good people and good times. I have made a few really solid friendships, one of which with my roommate Mackenzie, and a bunch of good acquaintances. I was pleasantly surprised at Pride how many people I ran into that I knew, and who recognized me and came up to say hello. There's even a lady, but not in a super serious monogamous way. She's feisty and is probably trouble, but she's funny, smart as hell, and beautiful to boot. We'll see where it goes.

Taylor and Noah Gauthier and Alex came down for pride. Alex disappeared for most of the weekend, but it was really good to see Taylor in particular. Really nice to see a familiar face.

I have a new phone, her name is Molly. She's pretty amazing. That's about all I think.

Peace Easy LiveJournal.

Oh the bordom. I also get to choose the rules, because this is my journal.

2009-06-08T06:10:28Z

Rule #1:

~~If you open this you take it.~~

Rule #2:

You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks.

Rule #3:

~~Tag ten people~~

True or False:

Q: Kissed someone on your friends list?- True

Q: Been arrested?- False

Q: Like someone? - True

Q: Held a snake? - True

Q: Been suspended from school?- False

Q: Sang karaoke? - True

Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? - True

Q: Laughed until you started crying? - True

Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - True

Q: Kissed in the rain? -True

Q: Sang in the shower? - True

Q: Sat on a roof top? - True

Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? - False

Q: Broken a bone?- False

Q: Shaved your head? -True

Q: Played a prank on someone? - True

Q: Shot a gun? - False

Q: Donated Blood? - False

Last Person:

1. You hung out with?
Roomie

2. you texted?
Lucy

3. You were in a car with?
Rebecca

4. Went to the movies with?
Bridgette

5. Person you went to shop with?
Blaine

6. You talked on the phone?
Lucy

7. Made you laugh?
Lucy

8. You hugged?
Blaine

1. Sun or moon?
Sun

2. Winter or Fall?
Winter

3. Left or Right?
Right

4. Sunny or rainy?
Sunny

5. Where do you live?
Upper East Side, Milwaukee

6. Club or pub?
Pub

7. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on?
2

8. Do you want to get married?
No

9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Twirl

10. What time is it?
1:07am CST

11. Are you afraid of commitment?
No

12. What is your greatest hope/wish?
Peace

13. Do you cook?
Yes

14. Current mood?
Content

In the last 48 hours have you...

1. Sang?
Yes

2. Listened to music?
Yes

3. Danced Crazy?
Nope

4. Cried?
Nope

5. Liked someone you can't have?
Nope

Three names you go by:

1. Miranda
2. Randa
3. P Bear

Three things you are wearing right now:

1. Touch Yourself T-Shirt
2. Yin Yang ring
3. Claddagh ring

Three things you want very badly at the moment:

1. Nothing
2. July Rent
3. Cuddles

Two things you did last night:

1. Drank a PBR
2. Walked to Cold Stone

Two things you ate today:

1. Chicken
2. Corn

Two people you last talked to on the phone:

1. Lucy
2. Tasha

Three things you are going to do tomorrow:

1. Pee
2.Eat
3.Shower

Two longest car rides:

1. Northern Alaska to Soutern Chile
2. Southern South Africa to North Eastern Russia

Favorite beverages:

1. Tea
2. Coke
3. Berry Weiss
4. Water

Weekly Music Posting - We Shall Be Free - Garth Brooks

2009-06-08T03:05:00Z

So I was called a pacifist this week. It wasn't a label I assigned to myself, really, so it caught me off guard a little, which in turn made me think about it. With that in mind, I've decided that Garth Brooks' We Shall Be Free will be the music posting for this week.

So, lets start at the beginning, the definition. Pacifisim: opposition to war or violence as a means of settling disputes.

Entirely true. I believe war and violence as means to settle disputes is a flaw of human behavior. I'm not dumb enough to say that I believe we can just shut down war and military tomorrow, I know that to lay down arms when your opposition does not is to set yourself up for slaughter. However, I do not believe in being the aggressor. Defense is the only acceptable form of violence, for me, because it's not really violence.

I believe that greed, hate, prejudice, and ignorance are the roots of war, and if we come to our brothers and sisters of humanity with contentment, love, respect, and knowledge, we will be able to work toward peace and balance for everyone. We need to stop trying to control the world, because the world does not belong to us, it is not ours to control. We are just part of her history. If global warming goes to the extent that it wipes out humanity, it is just her way of finding balance for herself, purging herself of the impurity our "taker" culture is. We need to stop trying to change her, but rather fit into the world she has for us before she goes to the extent she needs to on her own. I don't believe this means learning to harness her, or manipulate her, but rather living with her, moving back to a "leaver" culture.

I digress. Pacifism. I believe violence solves nothing, not in personal, cultural, or national conversations or disputes, it just feeds the disagreement, creates victims seeking retribution. When Germany lost WWI it gave Hitler the opportunity to harness the feelings of destitution and humiliation of the German people to focus on his dream of the thousand-year Reich and WWII. If you fight the violence of current neo-Nazi's protest at a pride event with squirt guns of bleach, you will not persuade them to stop committing hate crimes, they will just feel more justified in their attacks and do so, more then likely, with more vigar. This is not to say you could also sit down with them, or to condone their behavior in anyway, but to say that your energy and planning would find more use educating the young and supporting the people at the pride event.

I do not believe to be a pacifist you must submit to every argument, or that healthy debate is not in a pacifists belief set, it is debate and disagreement that takes us further in life, but that the disagreement must be respectful and understanding, and with the knowledge that we are all human beings.

So now, with conviction, I can say I am a pacifist.

But, if you want to wrestle, any time, let me know. :)

Weekly Music Posting - Imagine One Day - Grace

2009-06-02T07:36:11Z

So, I found this one via the Christian Science Monitor. Apparently she's really popular in France.

I have to say, I believe the CS Monitor said it best:
"But what may set the artist apart is an approach or attitude of affirmation and gratitude – underscored with loads of earnestness."

She has that social consciousness that I crave in music, with a sweet soulful voice I can fall in love with, and a sound that soothes and provokes thought. Watch out Daphne Willis, I might have a new musical crush. (That's a lie, I totally dig Daphne way more, but I wish her music had a more social conscious undertone)

Check her out. Official Website(Good luck if you don't know french): http://imaginegrace.artistes.universalmusic.fr/
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/graceinmusic

coldplay viva la vida

2009-05-28T17:18:13Z

So much win.

2009-05-24T20:03:32Z

P.S.

2009-05-24T02:28:01Z

I feel like I'm whoring myself out to retail.

So today I...

2009-05-24T00:39:08Z

Applied at Subway, Jimmy Johns, Board Games Barrister, Potbelly (whom I'm calling on Monday to follow up), Kohls, Journeys, PacSun, and Sunglasses Hut.

I may be applying online to Apple, Gap, Payless, Sears, and Hollywood Video.

And Artisans of Morocco I'm going to call on Tuesday.

Which means, to date, I've applied to:

blockbuster (5 locations)
walgreens (2 locations)
Pick N Save (one location)
RadioShack (one location)
Subway
Jimmy Johns
Board Games Barrister
Potbelly
Kohls
Journeys
PacSun
Sunglasses Hut
Brookefield Suites
Hope House of Milwaukee
Kelly Services
Layton State Bank

The application process...

2009-05-21T05:52:14Z

to date:
I have applied online to:

blockbuster (5 locations)
walgreens (2 locations)
Pick N Save (one location)
RadioShack (one location)

I have submitted an application/resume in person to:

knuckleheads
dominos
open pantry

in process:

subway
potbelly
brew city promotions(?)
borders books
Cousins
Betty Brinn Children Museum
Bella's Fat Cat
Urban Ecology Center
Tool Shed
Barnes & Noble (and anywhere else at Bayshore)
Hotch-a-Do
Summerfest
Jimmy Johns
Beans & Barley

Nothing's looking particularly promising, though. Amanda did say she would put in a good word for me at Blockbuster, and Colin mentioned something about an opportunity to type up phone conversations for deaf individuals at $9/hr.

We shall see.

Weekly Musical Posting - Love and Hate by Daphne Willis & Co.

2009-05-18T15:52:43Z

Oh Daphne Willis. My musical crush. So much talent in this crew, which for this song, not everyone's there - so you should check them out because there really is a lot of talent in the Daphne Willis & Co. crew.

Love and Hate

True summer music. I look forward to this album. I don't even know what else to say about it. Just enjoy it.

Weekly Musical Posting - Don't Be Afraid by Sweatshop Union

2009-05-10T18:59:39Z

So here's the idea I have. In order to start posting more, because I know I've been slacking, I've added an event to my Google Calender. Weekly(typically Sundays at 7pm) I will post a song and my thoughts on that particular track.

Okay, so there's a lot in this track. Obviously I won't be able to cover it all, so I'll pick out the obvious major theme. Don't be Afraid. lol.

I really like this track because it goes beyond what most of my music collection focuses on, personal relationships. This isn't a love song, or a "my girl left me and i'm hurtin song' or a "fuck you and your untouchable face" song. This has a wider scope then that. Those songs are important and valuable, and make up most of my collection because they are important to me, and help me find expression for what I'm feeling, but this goes beyond that and fills another part of how I need to express.

This song isn't talking about being afraid of going out there and meeting people. It is best summed up by a quote at the end of the track that was cut off for the video, which is depressing. Anyway, the quote is:

"I don't wanna depress you or frighten you
Or maybe I do...

But only if we can move out of that depression or that fear
And recognize that there are ways,

To make a difference here."

That is such a strong statement, and aligns so closely to how I feel about macro social work issues, issues larger then the one on one connections we have. It does not sugar coat the problems, it doesn't say that they aren't as bad as they are. They are really fucked up and a lot needs to be done about them, but you need to look at those problems honestly and not become crippled by the honest magnitude that is in front of you, and realize there are things you can do, and that even though these issues are so large, they can be changed, and you CAN make that change.

That fear, that is what is used to perpetuate the cycle. We sit around and think, man this is horrible, we should change this, and when we get to thinking about what that change should look like and how we can create it, we become afraid of "what if it doesn't work?" or "what if it's worse?" Are we so afraid of change, of negative repercussions that we will reject changing something netative for the fear that it could become worse? What kind of logic is that? If it gets worse, then we should change it again until it gets better, rather then just live with a negative situation.

There's so much more in this song. What resonates with you?

Lyrics:
Mmmm
Okay
Du dududu do do doooo

Ahh here I come, the merchant of dirt
And here to convert the worthless birds that chirp
Come get your just deserts
And discuss your worth
Or just cuss your words
And discuss the hurt
Plus the verbs of any war minds
Justice served and we don't have any more time
I find my self in truth and honor
Got on bullet proof armor wherever you wander
Ponder soliloquies of stupidity
The epitome of misery that never needs company

Somebody stop me from settin' shit straight
And investin' my faith in a profession of rape
Come on fuel the fire, justify
'Fraid you might lose an eye
Do and die suicide
Lucky where you crucified!!!!!!!!!!
Live a lie foo
All your life fool
We all want the nice schools
We all want the right moves, the nike shoes
We all want the same tricks the same clothes the same wits
We all speak the same flow same old same shit
Why?
'Cause things never change
Loosen on the reins for ya blue collar chains

Don't be afraid
It's all make believe any way
Ya we can leave any day
Keep the faith
Despite what you hear people say
Because the fear keep us chained
Don't be afraid
It's all make believe any way
Ya we can leave any day
Keep the faith
Despite what you hear people say
Because the fear keep us chained
The fear keep us chained (chained chained chained)... don't be afraid

Okay

Come on
Who's the liar
Testify scared to try
Risk the fight
Stakes are high make your life
Through and through just what you like
You got the right too
Speak your mind dude
We all have these strict rules
All have these shit blues spit fumes
All have the same myths same doubts same trips
All work the same shifts for same old same pricks
And it's only justified in blindfolded eyes
Stiff suits and ties

Ahh here I stand
Observin' this circus
Here to convert the perfect words to verses
I'm with ya trust me sir
Muster up the nerve
Up we must be sure justice must be served
Plus we work through plenty hard times
Bust the verse for loose nickels, pennies or dimes
I find my wealth in the hearts and minds
Of those of you who truly understand our design
I know the trinity of faith and hope and love
Those the buzz believe in makin' hope enough
Know enough to know we don't know enough so hold up
The white lies control us, fuck no
With every day another page is turned
Another way to earn your wages on your patient [hurr?]
Every place we go is state affirmed
Speak the truth as we know it to whomever it may concern

Don't be afraid
It's all make believe any way
Ya we can leave any day
Keep the faith
Despite what you hear people say
Because the fear keep us chained
Don't be afraid
It's all make believe any way
Ya we can leave any day
Keep the faith
Despite what you hear people say
Because the fear keep us chained
Chained
(Okay, aha!, yeah)

I don't wanna um depress you or frighten you
And maybe I do...
But only if we can move out of that depression or that uh um fear
And recognize that there are ways,
To make a difference here

VPN with WICD

2009-05-09T19:47:17Z

If you don't already have Network Manager vpnc then put this line into a terminal window:

$ sudo apt-get install network-manager-vpnc vpnc

In a terminal:

$ sudo vpnc

It will then ask for a series of things:

Enter IPSec gateway address: macvpn.nmu.edu

Enter IPSec ID for macvpn.nmu.edu: nmuvpn
Enter IPSec secret for nmuvpn@macvpn.nmu.edu: Get this from a UUG member
Enter username for macvpn.nmu.edu: This is your NMU UserName
Enter password for mlarocqu@macvpn.nmu.edu: This is your NMU Password
VPNC started in background (pid: 9935)...